Death's Rage
by Slicerness
Summary: My take on the reptilia28 challenge. There's no office, no repeated deaths, and certainly no blame pushed Harry's way, but Death is still murderous with the way things are going.


So I'm going to try my hand at this. This is a response to reptilia28's challenge, and It's my attempt to change it up. This will not turn into anything more, just a one-shot. Feel free to continue it if you like. It's a challenge within a challenge.

Challenge-ception!

Alright, enough dicking around, let's start this thing.

-Death's Rage-

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Harry Potter was conflicted about a large deal of things. Mostly the way things had turned out. The 'Final Battle' had been won, in a way, but so many people had died, and not Death Eaters either! In fact, the Death Eaters, the ones he hadn't personally killed, were getting off with slaps on the wrist, _again_.

He grimaced lightly as his chest tightened further. He felt like his entire ribcage had belts wrapped around it or something, and they'd been clinching tighter and tighter since his showdown with Riddle.

He rubbed his chest absently and promptly ignored it. He was no stranger to discomfort, he'd been feeling similar his entire life, it was just flaring up now.

He got back to thinking about his issues. Hermione wasn't so much avoiding him as she was walking around in a haze, but whenever he tried to help she would insist she could handle it on her own. His only solace was that when Ron had tried the same thing she had buried her knee in his crotch so hard the redhead had passed out in a pile of his own vomit.

Harry wisely decided to not bother her again, she knew she could come to him if she needed to talk, and that was enough.

Ginny had been... what was the term he'd heard Dudley use once? Tweaked? Yeah that sounded about right. He decided to stay away from her as well because whenever she caught sight of him she got this creepy possessive look in her eyes.

"Ngh!" He grunted as his chest tightened further. Tighter and tighter it grew until-

"Urp." He burped lightly, and blinked in shock as the pressure that had been with him since as long as he could remember just disappeared. "What."

And then the United Kingdom, Norway, Sweden, and most of Europe ceased to exist.

Time froze before the entire planet could destabilize, and one figure in a black robe and scythe appeared on the molten rock left over.

The figure looked around, and only had one thing to say. "No."

Waving it's hand the area in a 100 yard radius was suddenly free of dust and debris, a good enough place for a meeting, it decided. "Get down here, now!" A feminine voice thundered from beneath the hood.

Around her several dozen figures appeared, all different, but all otherworldy in some fashion.

Death removed her hood, revealing an attractive face with a shock of white hair, ash grey skin, and solid black eyes. Without preamble she bulled on before anybody could speak. "What. The. Fuck. Was. That?!" She ground out.

Fate and Destiny stepped forward, both identical as many human saw them as the same thing. Belief played a heavy part on what their avatars looked like. Fate looked remorseful, but Destiny was looking exceedingly dazed.

"I did the best with what I had, I'm afraid I had to devote a large deal of attention to another plane for a few years. A man I was supporting to unite his world in peace had his puppy die and snapped. It took a few decades for me to fix it." Fate apologized.

Destiny swayed back and forth, only held up by Fate. "I have absolutely no idea what happened!" She declared with a dramatic raised hand, index finger pointed towards the heavens.

Fate shook her head, "The mortals have been meddling so much it's starting to affect her, I'll take her to a nice canon world once we're done here where everything goes as it should."

Chaos skipped forward, dressed in sowed together rags, no two the same shade of color, everything about him completely random. "HAHAHA! This is delicious!" He crowed, hopping up and down.

Death glared herself at him, her teeth clenched. "So this was your doing?"

Chaos grinned crookedly, his mouth filled with fangs and teeth alike, some perfectly white while others were completely rotten, and nodded happily. "It was so easy too! With everybody else trying to enforce their will and that mortal Dumbledore screwing people over left and right I barely needed to do anythi-ERK!"

Chaos blinked as he stared down at the ash grey hand that had punched a hole in his sternum, blood bubbling forth from his lips.

Death wrenched her hand free, taking one of Chaos' ribs with it, which she proceeded to use as a stabbing tool as she launched herself at his with a war cry. Every descent of the make-shift knife brought forth a differently colored spray of blood, red, yellow, green, blue; by the time she was done her robes were dripping in a virtual rainbow of blood.

Climbing off the gurgling embodiment, Death panted lightly as she returned to her previous position, a large deal of stress gone from her shoulders. "I was promised," She said slowly, "An apprentice. To help me deal with the massive work load that comes with my job. Every one of you has one, and yet when I request a mortal of my own to mold it takes you all _thirty three millenia_ to finally finish my paperwork. And when you finally do, my mortal is hindered and stunted at every turn."

She glared at the gathered gods, aspects and embodiments before she continued. "There are no words to describe just how angry I am right now. Instead of being treated like a sacred event, or even just something your should have all kept your damn noses out of, I can only watch as what I have claimed as mine is tarnished and made a shadow, a husk of what he could have become."

She began pacing back and forth furiously. "Let's get one thing straight, I am the only being here that can _end your existence_, I think maybe you should reconsider meddling with my affairs. I have no doubt you would eventually subdue me and seal my powers in a mortal you would one day welcome into your ranks, but how many of you would perish in the attempt?"

As the majority of the beings there shuffled uncomfortably a smaller version of Death walked over to stand by her, an hourglass clasped in her hand. The childlike death was soon joined by a woman of unexplainable beauty dressed in a white toga sashed on both sides to cover her assets. The last to join them wasn't a figure, but a weakly flickering orb of blue energy.

Death noticed her newest allies and nodded to them respectfully. She expected Time to help her, Love was an interesting one though. Death and Time were so close they were in a similar situation as Destiny and Fate, so they even saw eachother as sisters, but Love could be as random as Chaos when she got worked up. The last was not unexpected, considering what had happened.

"Leave." Death snapped to everyone but those beside her. "If I see any of you in this plane again until my chosen has accepted his position I will personally end your existence, making it as painful and slow as I possibly can. I'm sure Time will help me to really stretch things out."

Her orders were followed, most still had no idea what was going on but they knew better than to make Death even angrier by making her explain.

Death sighed, a throne of bones appearing behind her as she fell back onto the plush, midnight blue cushions. "So, what's your stake in this Love?" She asked.

Love sat in her own seat, a rich red Victorian style fainting couch, and sighed as she did so, as was tradition. "You missed a detail darling, any your chosen claims as his own are also yours, and by proxy mine due to what I am." An angry look crossed her gorgeous features. "Every human has dozens of potential matches, your chosen being the perfect example of this, so many possibilities, and yet nobody wound up with who they were supposed to! Poor Harry didn't wind up with anyone! Not even young Ginevra, as damaged as she was before _this_ happened." She waved her hand at the destruction around them.

"That delightful Delacour girl with the arrogant Curse Breaker, the wet blanket werewolf with the perky shapeshifter, the Lovegood girl with the boring and dull researcher she ends up with, the youngest Delacour and the pig that looks like your chosen she gets tricked by, it's all wrong wrong _WRONG_!" Love ranted, her eyes wild and her perfect hair growing wild.

"I can only thank the stars young Hermione had a high tolerance for potions and compulsory spells, if she would have wound up with that utter waste from Sloth's realm I would have snapped and done something like this to the entire world and happily taken your punishment." Love admitted. "Chosen be damned if that kind of travesty ever happened... well we all have our limits, I'm sure you can relate darling?"

Death chuckled as she remembered her ravings about many of the mortals who had found ways to cheat her. It was her main reason for desiring an apprentice, being a mortal turned deity, as long as she held the official position he would be able to interfere with the worlds however he liked under her orders. "And you, little sister?"

Time had already enlarged her hourglass and was sitting on it, her legs dangling off and swinging back and forth like a child would, matching her avatar's appearance nicely. "So much wasted time..." The girl said softly.

Death nodded, seeing how that would irk her sister figure. She winced as she looked at the glowing orb of energy. "Magic, we're going to fix this, so just hold on for a little longer. I'm thinking we should give him the standard redo package. I'm getting rid of that pesky soul bit, it shouldn't have latched onto his wound anyway and stunted his magical growth."

Love was all for the idea, demonstrated as she wiggled happily in place and made an interested 'Ooh!' sound. "I'll talk to him when we summon him, he's a shy boy and the damage done to him makes it hard for him to realize he's a very attractive young man. I suppose I could also plant a few suggestions to make him more attractive; grooming and exercise habits, that sort of thing."

Death nodded, accepting this before she turned towards the smallest of the three. Time was silent for several moments before her naturally quiet voice appeared, "Sending him back is all I am allowed to do."

Death hummed, "That's okay, we're already going to be looking out for him, and without those other assholes interfering at every turn things should go far smoother for him. He wouldn't be my chosen if he doesn't need to overcome his own problems, but it was just unfair before."

She perked up, "Alright, Magic, do you have the strength to contain the blast if Time can reverse things to just before his magic broke the bindings?"

The orb pulsed, glowing brighter for the first time since she appeared. It's shape attempted to change, but before it could even reach what could pass for humanoid it snapped back into a ball, just not possessing the energy to shift into it's proper avatar.

Taking this as a yes Time got to word. A pillar of sand rose from the ground, but was truly just appearing from nothing according to Time's will. The sand fell away to reveal Harry Potter, staring at his own chest in shock. "What."

The blast of magical energy was much less muted this time, and was instead funneled into Magic, who spoke for the first time as her form filled out, a gasp escaping her lips as she was restored.

Harry blinked slowly, swaying lightly as he fell back onto his rear end, his magical reserves completely drained. "What." He repeated as he eyed up the four women in front of him, one cute and three sexy in their own, exotic way.

"I think I need a cigar." Magic groaned deeply as she picked herself up. With a wave of her hand she conjured a seat for herself, and another for Harry. Hers was a simple recliner made from swirling green energy, while Harry's was the same stool he'd sat in when he was Sorted in hist first year, only larger to support his larger body.

"Hello Harry, I'm Death. Let's have a chat." The black robed woman smiled a very vicious smile.

Harry sighed and took his seat. Why did his life have to be completely insane?

Omake by: Walkabouttigger69

"You mean to tell me that nearly-immortal forces shaped my life to be what it was?" Harry asked speculatively.

"Yes, that's it exactly." Death replied with a grin.

"And you want to send me back to undo the damage this idiot, Chaos, enacted. Correct?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer.

"Precisely!" Death exclaimed, clapping her hands in excitement. _'Yes! He's going to do it!'_ She thought happily to herself.

"Their heads." Harry said, smiling.

"Excuse me?" Love asked.

"My price for going back. I want to see their heads impaled upon pikes before me, and left where their peers can see them throughout their days of work, as a reminder to never upset me." Harry explained.

"Now see here...!" Death began, but was cut off by her diminutive helper.

"Agreed. Is that your only price?" Time asked.

"I want a harem..." Harry began counting his demands out on his fingers.

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Omake 2 by: Cliffc999

Time sighed, "Unfortunately Harry, they're beyond our power to kill. If we cosmic beings could snuff each other like that, would we fight by manipulation and proxy?"

Harry admitted she had a point. "Well, I suppose you'd still do that even if you did have the power to kill each other directly, if the wars between you would break the universe or someth-oh bugger."

Death nodded, "Exactly. That's what I was trying to get at. However, if you want them to _suffer_, that we can most definitely arrange."

Loved grinned a very nasty grin. "Along with a side order of eternally gnawing their own spleen. Indeed, the plan we already had set up for you was intended to spite them eternally, fully as much as it was intended to help Death's potential apprentice-"

"-that's you, in case you need it spelled out even _more_blatantly-" Death cut in.

"-reach his full potential." Time finished patiently.

Harry felt the desire to be stubborn. "Still not good enough. I mean, I'm all for spiting the bastards and having a chance again to live my life the way it should be, but there's still something missing."

The black robed woman shrugged, "Well, don't look at me. An excess of imagination isn't exactly considered a desirable characteristic in my job."

"On the other hand, its a _very_ desirable one in my job. I'm sure we can negotiate some kind of agreement..." Love offered none too subtly.

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Omake 3 by: Walkabouttigger69

"And that's why we need you to be our secret keeper, Peter," Lily pleaded earnestly to the rat-faced man currently bouncing Harry on his knee. _'Thank Merlin! I will do this and my Lord will reward me greatly!'_ Peter thought, while replying, "If you think it's for the best, Lily."

Harry suddenly regained all the memories of his previous time through and realized he had been returned to his 14-month-old self and was being bounced on Peter Pettigrew's lap. Unfortunately, he had all the vocal articulation of a 14-month-old to express his disagreement with his current predicament.

"BAD RAT MAN!" Harry screamed in his infantile voice.

What Lily would always refer to as the worst case of accidental magic she would ever witness, she watched in horror as every piece of cutlery in the house, along with the shards of the suddenly-shattered windows and pottery flew at, and through, Peter, leaving what remained of him little more than a splattered stain on the couch and walls.

"NAPPY MESS MOMMA!" Baby Harry cried.

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And there you have it. Please don't ask for a sequel, because this is all there is. The reason I wrote this was to revamp the beginning of the challenge, everyone always does them the same aside from one or two exceptions, and I wanted to show my version if I was motivated and creative enough to write such a story.


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